Greetings and Blessings Dear Ones!  

We hope 2019 has gotten off to a good start for you.  If not, do not fear, for tomorrow is always a new day!  Carrie began 2019 in the ER followed by a cold and Renee is recovering from surgery at this moment of writing.  Fortunately we are all ok and are still filled with enthusiasm for the year ahead. 

What are we most excited about this year?  Launching retreats! We look forward to our new retreats being fabulously fun and transformative — and rejuvenating.  :)

For now, though, our focus is on inner reflection and healing — there’s no better time than the beginning of a new year to engage in self-reflection!  This is a great time for us all to take stock of what our past year has been, acknowledging our successes as well as our challenges.  And it's still a good time to set new intentions and wishes for the year ahead.  What do you want your focus to be this year?  What experiences would you like to have?  How would you like to cultivate self-compassion? How would you like to nourish yourself?

Some people like to set new year’s resolutions.  Yet setting “resolutions” that are broken quickly may cause more disillusionment than momentum for success.  So we encourage you to set new year’s intentions this year.  What journey would you like to embark upon?  What is your intention in attitude this year?  How can you be more kind to yourself this year?  How can you be more grounded?  How would you like to feel this year?

Dragonflies symbolize self-reflection and self-realization.  
They emerge from the surface of water, representing deep self-reflection and the act of looking beyond the surface to what is deeper within.  The dark months of winter particularly support the act of looking within as we retreat indoors and hibernate for a while.  How will you use this time to support your own self-realization?  What intention would you like to set for your journey ahead?  

If you would find it supportive to connect with others in this process then we hope you will consider joining us for creating “Journey Boards” on Saturday, January 26.  (More info on our website.)  Like Vision Boards, creating a personal “Journey Board” is an opportunity to visualize elements of a future self or steps you’d like to make along your personal journey, all while expressing your creativity.  At Dragonfly Journeys we’ve found that while many of us hesitate to engage in creative arts, they are indeed Healing Arts, as Michaelene teaches. 

Fun Fact!  Renee, Carrie, and Michaelene have come together twice before to create personalized journey boards.  Renee last led a board-creation session in early 2017. Although others were anticipated to join, only Michaelene, Carrie, and Renée showed up to make their boards that day.  We three conceived the idea of Dragonfly Journeys later that year.  Last winter, when Carrie took another look at her board made that day, she was struck with awe when she realized the board itself represented none other than our Dragonfly Journeys!

Where will 2019 take YOU?  We certainly hope our journeys will intersect.  Here's wishing you a powerful and transformative year! 

With love,
Carrie, Michaelene, and Renée

Ever since I watched the Wizard of Oz and the cowardly lion, I have been amazed and curious about courage.  I think it is an essential key to moving forward in life. Change and growth sprout from courage, without courage we would be stagnant. “… existentialists believe that to choose the future regularly requires courage. Without courage, one may choose the past regularly, which stagnates the quest for meaning” (Maddi).

I was surprised by the fact that not much has been written about courage as an existential given of existence. Some givens that have been listed are: willingness, freedom, existential anxiety, death, isolation, responsibility, meaning, and choice. With each one, I believe, there is courage needed in some form or another. And like the cowardly lion and these givens, courage is there inside of us without doubt. I have seen this in my clients and know it exists within me as a person and therapist. In order to understand and explain how I applied it to my experience with my client, it is important to state that I believe courage exists within each given. 

Willingness is motivation, a reason to begin something. Out of our will come challenges and obstacles. At this point we have the freedom to choose what we will do differently. Maddi mentions how hardiness “emerged as a set of attitudes or beliefs about yourself in interaction with the world around you that provides the courage and motivation to do the hard work of turning stressful changes from potential disasters into opportunities instead." 

Freedom can be scary in that it gives us the ability to make any choice or no choice. It takes courage to make sense of freedom and to take advantage of it without going too far. One must remember consequences when enacting freedom.

Death could be the most terrifying given to some. It is the end. It is to be expected. As we choose to decide how we view the inevitability of death it takes courage to learn about it and accept that we all are going to die. It then takes the courage to choose how we will live. 

If we are in isolation, it takes courage to step out into the world. It takes courage to feel those feelings of isolation and aloneness. It takes courage to realize we are not the only ones with challenges. Isolation is a way to hide, a way to dwell. It can also be a chance to incubate or immerse. It is the beginning of self-awareness, a kick-start to courage.

Along with choices come responsibilities. We are responsible for our choices, our actions and to take this responsibility requires courage: the courage to admit to what we have done or not done; the courage to make amends; the courage to celebrate who we are and what we believe in; and the courage to do something different.

Making these choices will bring about anxiety especially if we are not sure of the outcome. It takes courage to make the choice into the unknown and through the fear and anxiety. “What is the answer to tolerating the anxiety of uncertainty? … existential courage (i.e., ‘the courage to be’)” (Maddi). 

Choosing to be courageous in so many ways fuels the meaning in our lives.  This fuel gives us hope, a reason to live, a reason to continue being courageous. When we run up against obstacles in life, it is courage that has us push them out of the way. Courage is what has us bust through fear. Courage is change and growth. Courage is choice.

Michaelene

Loneliness is just more fear. Under the lonely is fear: fear of connecting, fear of the unknown, fear of trusting, fear we don't matter, fear of rejection... And instead of facing that, we choose to be lonely, isolated, then we don't have to experience the hurt, which I am not sure is worse than the loneliness.

Part of the lonely is mistrusting ourselves. thinking we can't handle "it" or we won't know what to do and how will others perceive us or that they will leave. So we choose to leave first or not even show up and then we are lonely.

With loneliness there is a longing. A longing to be with others. A longing to have contact, to be a part of something, small or large. I think now my loneliness is the longing of allowing myself to be and feel connected to all on a deeper level. Connection on the surface is easy. Connection on the depths-of-a-soul level calls for utmost surrender, which takes all the pressure off. All that pressure we put on ourselves. All that pressure that causes so much fear.

Fear, fear, fear... sometimes it's healthy but most times it keeps you small, isolated, and lonely doubting who you are, what you can contribute, and if you're worthy. If only we take that step - small or large - past our edge, past our knowing or what we think we know. We will then see that one small step forward brings empowerment, courage, and brand new amazing things. Oh how I will now pray for those opportunities.

We need community to thrive and go places we didn't think possible or didn't even think of at all. I wonder if there was ever a time of true trust in ourselves and each other. Now is the time.

​Michaelene

My main understanding of mindfulness has definitely grown. In the beginning, I thought it was all about the meditation and trying to quiet my mind. I was getting frustrated because, well, that was nearly impossible and my restlessness turned out to be a nice defense mechanism. Then I thought it was about dismissing feelings along with thoughts because that is the only way you could accomplish this mindfulness stuff, right? No, it is not the way. The way, to me, is acknowledging what is there without judgment and with curiosity, exploration, courage, and dare I say… excitement. 

It is allowing one to be quiet and listen to the wisdom that is within and the wisdom that is in everyone and everything.  We are all connected – people, animals, and nature. Mindfulness is a way to connect to the bigger picture. It is also a way to take responsibility for one’s actions, and oneself and for the role he or she has in the world.

Mindfulness also means having the ability to physically and physiologically change one’s health and well-being. It is amazing how powerful the mind is and how open to change it is as well. Albeit it does take some practice. It reminds one of getting better at a sport. The more one practices, the easier the skill becomes. The challenge is letting it be what it is, just noticing and not forcing or feeling the pressure to do something.

Anyone can do it...

The other aspect is anyone can do it. It is not tied to a religion or dogma.  It does not take a lot of time to get a lot out of a sitting. There are no rules to follow except to honor one’s existence, breathe and be aware with all senses, and acknowledge the present moment and if there are thoughts let them float away. Simple really; however, simple is often the most difficult. 

In graduate school, I took a mindfulness class. you could accomplish this mindfulness stuff, right? No, it is not the way. The way, to me, is acknowledging what is there without judgment and with curiosity, exploration, courage, and dare I say… excitement.

It is allowing one to be quiet and listen to the wisdom that is within and the wisdom that is in everyone and everything.  We are all connected – people, animals, and nature. Mindfulness is a way to connect to the bigger picture. It is also a way to take responsibility for one’s actions, and oneself and for the role he or she has in the world.

The Mindfulness Gift...

Having the opportunity to study Buddhist Psychology on my own was a gift. I have been drawn to Buddhism for quite some time. I could not figure out how to apply it to the therapy room without offending those who are religious and could not figure out how to explain Buddhism to those who did not know. This class gave me the opportunity to explore and realize that Buddhism is a way to live and to explain the challenges of existing. 

I think the best way to explain my insights is take some of the entries from my journal. The first time I wrote, my realization was that I was holding on. “I felt as if I was holding on. To what? Well, to what feels safe, less powerful. The letting go power is enormous. Who will I be after I let go and immerse myself? Immerse myself in the nothingness? What will I learn? Do I want to learn it? If it wasn’t for me to learn, why would it be there for me to explore?”

I often have these conversations with myself – repeatedly. It is like resisting my own power, denying a large part of myself. The conversation continues with, “Just see what happens, feel what happens. Observe what happens with no judgment, no rationalization, no figuring or guessing. Let the feeling pass through you, experiencing it full. Allow yourself to know, to feel, to see – when alone and with others.” I realized I have the gift of compassion and the ability to “feel” a person, his or her energy.

It is important to embrace who I am and what I have to offer and listen with my heart as well as my ears. “Love yourself where you are now. Embrace change, unknown, new journeys and paths, and what you feel. Then you can be present for yourself and others.” All that written, let the struggle begin…

I found that restlessness is my best defensive move. I have been told I am extremely resistant, although I am better now. One of my insights came with the banging of the Zen walking sticks. “I wasn’t going to let those walking sticks get me this time – my guard was up for that. I was aware they were coming. No one and nothing was going to scare me like before. I kept myself distracted so I couldn’t go anywhere or be scared yet I was restless.” This restlessness was about doing, fixing and avoiding… wishing I was somewhere else but not sure where. Where else does this happen in my life? Everywhere.

Let go or be dragged...

“Let go or be dragged” is a quote I found in this process. Being dragged is exhausting but I smile along the way. It is here I received insight on my smile. “The smile is just be being caught. The smile is me hiding. The smile is sadness, shame, and guilt. The smile is nerves, anxiety, not knowing what else to do. The smile is also genuine and me asking for help. The smile is welcoming and joy and most importantly… gratitude.”

Learning and Sharing...

The last key insight I received is that I have new information that I must share, give, and keep learning more. There is much joy in knowing this… to bask in the light; to open the small space in my heart a little more so more than just I can fit. To welcome, receive, and feel support from others is next - to be open to the flow, the flow of love and support. To feel I am not alone and to embrace it.

Being open to learn something in most every moment has been another gift I have received from this class. It has given me the courage to be honest with myself more so than I ever have. It has also had me realize that there is beauty in the suffering; a learning and a knowing that can develop if I just acknowledge what is. Once it is acknowledged, I can accept it and then agree that it is there and make decisions around it.

The Flame of Awareness...

My awareness is the flame that starts the bonfire of questions for personal growth. What is the most healthy and beneficial for all involved? What am I not willing to look at? What do I need? Now that I have this information, where can it take me? What shall I do with it? It is exciting because through all of this I know I will get to know myself increasingly. I am truly limitless in what I would like to discover and explore and the more I do that, the more I can help to support my clients.

Michaelene

by Michaelene

Often times when we do our personal growth work, I think we concentrate so much on surrendering to our shadows not realizing it is just as important to surrender to our beauty, our light, our abilities, talents, intuition, strengths, etc. as well. It's important and difficult - for me anyway.

A short time ago during meditation, I asked what I need to surrender to in order to keep moving forward and to pass an exam I am required to take for my career. "Surrender to your beauty, " I heard, "Only then can you truly believe in yourself and your abilities." My beauty, as I thought about it, means all those wonderfully positive things I have such a hard time owning. I mean, take me into the shadows almost any day but my light and my beauty? That's another story.

The darkness is a lovely place, especially when you don't realize or accept the light. My family has been keying on the darkness for generations. Yes, many dark things have happened but has anyone clearly focused on the light? The community (light) the darkness may have built?

I have been an interesting dichotomy of catastrophizing and optimism all my life. Catastrophizing especially when it comes to myself and my abilities and optimism when it comes to others and things outside myself. That is very isolating and lonely at times because there is then only a "I'm in it alone feeling" while with others, I don't want them to feel alone. It is interesting I am not comforting and cheering on myself in the way I do others. I am truly my own worst enemy and perpetuator of the loneliness I feel at times.

by  Michaelene

When your heart is open it allows you to feel everything... love, anger, fear, joy... and this teaches us and this heals us. Only when we feel the true spectrum of our experiences and emotions can we heal and truly begin to be present to live.

To live our own truth, our purpose, our soul's longing and destiny. To love to our fullest all of humanity, all creatures of the earth and beyond - including and especially ourselves. Because truly we cannot fully love another before we authentically and truthfully love ourselves and all that we are - light and dark, "good" and "bad," happy or sad. Flawed beings are we and it is those flaws, those dark pieces that when recognized, acknowledged, and accepted allows us to see the light within.

And then to look into that light and begin to surrender to our beauty...

by Michaelene

Often, in this day and age, I believe our Human-ness factor is forgotten. To remember the Human-ness within each of us, that connection and how we all experience feelings, emotions, wisdom, energetic connections, spiritual connections, and how we all effect each other and all that has to do with the Earth and being here. Because out of compassion, many things can grow - peace, love, respect...

I have seen this forgotten-ness in most every realm I have been involved in - school, work, athletics, business, the medical field, politics... and I could go on. I believe this is a crisis to our evolution and our survival - not only as peoples, but animals and the Earth itself. It is painful on many levels to experience. Compassion, I believe, is definitely one of the cures.

It is one of my dreams and soul purposes to advocate to see more compassion in the world, to realize we are all one and connected, and to see each other treat each other with love and compassion no matter color, creed, race, etc. This is in part why I have posted this blog because as the Dalai Lama has said,





Please join Carrie for her Compassionate Connection class on September 17th at 7pm. For more information, please see our classes and workshop page.

by Michaelene 
​
To me, the ability to strive for balance and joy is an amazing privilege. It is a journey I embrace and hope to share with my clients. It is a sacred and honorable place within us. If we can keep that in mind, we will not have to desire or fear anything. It will be within and the need to look externally will torture us no longer. We will have balance. We will have the ability to heal and the ability to help others - we are all connected.


The last words of the Buddha before his death were: "All good things come to an end. Strive on tirelessly." The idea of striving tirelessly in our professions and lives was profoundfully put, in my opinion, by Rosenbaum: 

"May this be our koan: to continuously ask how we may, in the midst of our activity, cultivate a practice of mindfully not-minding ourselves, to offer our Selves to the opening of acceptance, compassion, kindness, and joy." 

I know my experiences and growth have been touched byBuddhism. It has given me the courage to explore knowing that anything I fear, love, hate, whatever is only temporary so I must bask in what the universe sends me in order to live fully. I appreciate each day, each person, and each experience. I am filled with gratitude and I know others see and feel it from me too. What a beautiful and empowering way to exist.

Last night’s cultivation of self-compassion class connection was so special! We each drew a card at the beginning which was a message meant for us. One person drew “Listen to the Widsdom of your Heart!” I love that. ❤️

My phone died on the way there so I couldn’t take pictures or time. ;) I’ve always said it was my “challenge” as a facilitator to keep on time to an agenda. Last night taught and reminded me that sometimes it’s good to not worry about time at all! Everything unfolds as it will and sometimes there are unplanned gems.

Last night’s gems included unexpectedly holding a crystal in my hand and meeting a Crystal whom we hope will join Renee’s family! ;) Also got to meet a (Christmas) Carol which was special became we essentially have the same name: Song of Joy! 🎼😊

Michaelene brought Mandala Blessings. She created them with love. (Using PowerPoint, can you believe it?!) We each chose one and colored it in, while meditating on loving kindness and infusing ourselves and our mandalas with compassionate messages especially crafted by and for ourselves.

Our homework assignment is to write a loving and compassionate letter to ourselves inside and mail it to ourself to read later. You can do it, too! Here's the invitation & instructions.

If you'd like to color in a mandala with your own loving kindness meditation, there are some free online coloring mandalas here.  They're not Michaelene's, but they'll do nicely!  :) 

​It was a beautiful, compassionate night together.  😄 😊