loneliness

Loneliness is just more fear. Under the lonely is fear: fear of connecting, fear of the unknown, fear of trusting, fear we don't matter, fear of rejection... And instead of facing that, we choose to be lonely, isolated, then we don't have to experience the hurt, which I am not sure is worse than the loneliness.

Part of the lonely is mistrusting ourselves. thinking we can't handle "it" or we won't know what to do and how will others perceive us or that they will leave. So we choose to leave first or not even show up and then we are lonely.

With loneliness there is a longing. A longing to be with others. A longing to have contact, to be a part of something, small or large. I think now my loneliness is the longing of allowing myself to be and feel connected to all on a deeper level. Connection on the surface is easy. Connection on the depths-of-a-soul level calls for utmost surrender, which takes all the pressure off. All that pressure we put on ourselves. All that pressure that causes so much fear.

Fear, fear, fear... sometimes it's healthy but most times it keeps you small, isolated, and lonely doubting who you are, what you can contribute, and if you're worthy. If only we take that step - small or large - past our edge, past our knowing or what we think we know. We will then see that one small step forward brings empowerment, courage, and brand new amazing things. Oh how I will now pray for those opportunities.

We need community to thrive and go places we didn't think possible or didn't even think of at all. I wonder if there was ever a time of true trust in ourselves and each other. Now is the time.

​Michaelene