Healing Through Connecting™ |
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WHAT ARE CONSTELLATIONS?
“Constellations” are a type of healing modality. They are often called “family constellations” or “systemic constellations” because the healing process recognizes that our woundings are often tied into family or other systemic woundings (even without our knowledge).
Constellations cannot be described succinctly, nor understood through description. They must be experienced and felt to be understood. (Like spirituality or awe.) The process and its effects cannot can be understood through words, on a cognitive level. The practice draws from systems theory, family and group therapy, existential phenomenology, and indigenous spiritual mysticism. See what we mean that it can't be easily described?!
Many healing practices focus on the physical level: physical therapy, seeing a doctor, taking medicines & herbs, etc.
Some healing practices take a cognitive/mental angle: talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, psychotherapy, etc.
Other healing modalities engage the physical level and also facilitate healing on a spiritual level: yoga, tai chi, etc.
Constellations engage all four dimensions of healing: at mental, physical, emotional, & spiritual levels.
Explore more about constellations below.
Constellations cannot be described succinctly, nor understood through description. They must be experienced and felt to be understood. (Like spirituality or awe.) The process and its effects cannot can be understood through words, on a cognitive level. The practice draws from systems theory, family and group therapy, existential phenomenology, and indigenous spiritual mysticism. See what we mean that it can't be easily described?!
Many healing practices focus on the physical level: physical therapy, seeing a doctor, taking medicines & herbs, etc.
Some healing practices take a cognitive/mental angle: talk therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, psychotherapy, etc.
Other healing modalities engage the physical level and also facilitate healing on a spiritual level: yoga, tai chi, etc.
Constellations engage all four dimensions of healing: at mental, physical, emotional, & spiritual levels.
Explore more about constellations below.
constellations explained
Louise Danielle Palmer explains constellations in Spirituality and Health Magazine. Here is an excerpt.
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What Is It?
It resonates with the research findings of biologist Rupert Sheldrake, who posited that related people, places, and animals exist in a “morphic field” of energy which has both influence and memory.
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“Like a flock of birds or a school of fish, each family is held in an invisible field that encompasses and governs all its members, who can sense each other and move in concert without a word being spoken,” explain Alison Rose and Ed Levy, a husband-wife team who facilitate Constellation workshops in the New York area. “Any painful event touches every single family member and continues to reverberate down to later generations. As a result, people often carry and reenact the original wounds of their ancestors.”
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These wounds are called unconscious “entanglements”: traumatic or unresolved issues that have been hidden, such as a murder in the family, an abortion or miscarriage, an infidelity, or the premature death of a parent or child. Hellinger says these entanglements disturb our lives and manifest in the form of sudden illness or accidents, depression or feelings of isolation, physical or mental illness, and persistent relationship conflicts and dysfunction.
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Reclaiming Our Destiny
Louise Danielle Palmer, “How to Heal Your Family” in Spirituality and Health Magazine, November-December 2006
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the constellation process
This section describes the process of a constellation, or what you might expect if you participate in a constellation guided by Michaelene.
In a group workshop the session begins with greetings, welcomes, and pleasantries. Many people are nervous about what to expect, so everyone gets settled in and adjusts to the energy of the space and to each other. Participants introduce themselves and are invited to share a bit about why they chose to attend, or what their intentions are in attending. (Do you just want to observe? Is there a particular issue you are hoping to explore and find healing around?)
Michaelene then explains a little bit about constellations and what to expect and how to participate.
There are few instructions, and she always reminds people when it's their turn.
When the group feels ready to begin, Michaelene will lead a brief meditation (guided visualization).
Then participants are invited: Is there anyone who would like to have a constellation?
A “seeker” (someone who is seeking healing) decides they are ready to explore something that they would like to find healing around. For example, an estranged relationship with a family member. The seeker sits next to Michaelene and describes the issue they would like to explore. (This engages the seeker at the mental level as they describe what’s going on for them.)
The seeker and Michaelene together agree on who should be represented in the constellation. For example, they may agree that several family members should be in the constellation.
In a group workshop, people serve as representatives. In a private session, wooden figurines or footprints may be used. When participating in a group session, people may be asked to serve as representatives, or they may voluntarily self-select to represent if they feel called to do so. Participants may always decline if asked to represent, no explanation needed. Once all representatives are selected, the seeker physically places the representatives in the constellation field however they feel is right. Representatives simply stand silently where they are placed.
Then the seeker observes. Insights often come to the seeker simply upon observing the positions of the representatives and their relationships to each other. In a group workshop, the representatives will be asked to describe how they feel in the constellation, especially with relation to the other representatives. Representatives may then move, slowly, within the constellation to a position they feel is right. This often reveals hidden dynamics within the constellation. Then at some point the seeker is placed into the constellation. (This engages the seeker at the physical level.)
Carefully and compassionately guided by Michaelene, movements and phrases are invited as representatives and the seeker engage with each other. Significant healing at the emotional level usually ensues.
Michaelene then explains a little bit about constellations and what to expect and how to participate.
There are few instructions, and she always reminds people when it's their turn.
When the group feels ready to begin, Michaelene will lead a brief meditation (guided visualization).
Then participants are invited: Is there anyone who would like to have a constellation?
A “seeker” (someone who is seeking healing) decides they are ready to explore something that they would like to find healing around. For example, an estranged relationship with a family member. The seeker sits next to Michaelene and describes the issue they would like to explore. (This engages the seeker at the mental level as they describe what’s going on for them.)
The seeker and Michaelene together agree on who should be represented in the constellation. For example, they may agree that several family members should be in the constellation.
In a group workshop, people serve as representatives. In a private session, wooden figurines or footprints may be used. When participating in a group session, people may be asked to serve as representatives, or they may voluntarily self-select to represent if they feel called to do so. Participants may always decline if asked to represent, no explanation needed. Once all representatives are selected, the seeker physically places the representatives in the constellation field however they feel is right. Representatives simply stand silently where they are placed.
Then the seeker observes. Insights often come to the seeker simply upon observing the positions of the representatives and their relationships to each other. In a group workshop, the representatives will be asked to describe how they feel in the constellation, especially with relation to the other representatives. Representatives may then move, slowly, within the constellation to a position they feel is right. This often reveals hidden dynamics within the constellation. Then at some point the seeker is placed into the constellation. (This engages the seeker at the physical level.)
Carefully and compassionately guided by Michaelene, movements and phrases are invited as representatives and the seeker engage with each other. Significant healing at the emotional level usually ensues.
When people step into a constellation field, whether seekers or representatives, they experience the energy of the field. Psychoanalyst Albrecht Mahr, M.D., coined this “the knowing field.” Healing happens in the field that cannot be understood cognitively. Much of the healing happens in silence, for example as the seeker and a representative look into each other’s eyes. For most people, this healing happens at the soul level, as people move beyond the level of personalities and move into the level of the soul. In these ways - that again, cannot be described or understood merely through words - healing is typically accessed at a spiritual or energetic level.
Constellations can be extremely powerful. People have experienced transformation in one 30 minute constellation that they could not achieve after years of talk therapy. This is because of the enormous power of the process, and the way it accesses all four dimensions of healing: the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels of healing. It is truly a mind~body~spirit practice.
Constellation sessions end with a brief time for processing (verbally and otherwise). At the conclusion of each constellation, the seeker is given time and space to process what they experienced verbally if they would like. However, the seeker is never asked to describe or explain the healing they received. In fact, the "rule" is that seekers should keep their experiences private for at least 72 hours before sharing their experience with anyone. This is to protect the sacredness of what was experienced, and to not allow outside opinions or perspectives influence the truth of what the seeker experienced and the meaning made of it.
At the end of a group constellation workshop, group participants are invited to ask questions or share a bit about their experiences (either as representatives or as seekers) if they would like.
Constellation sessions conclude with a closing meditation (guided visualization).
Constellations can be extremely powerful. People have experienced transformation in one 30 minute constellation that they could not achieve after years of talk therapy. This is because of the enormous power of the process, and the way it accesses all four dimensions of healing: the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels of healing. It is truly a mind~body~spirit practice.
Constellation sessions end with a brief time for processing (verbally and otherwise). At the conclusion of each constellation, the seeker is given time and space to process what they experienced verbally if they would like. However, the seeker is never asked to describe or explain the healing they received. In fact, the "rule" is that seekers should keep their experiences private for at least 72 hours before sharing their experience with anyone. This is to protect the sacredness of what was experienced, and to not allow outside opinions or perspectives influence the truth of what the seeker experienced and the meaning made of it.
At the end of a group constellation workshop, group participants are invited to ask questions or share a bit about their experiences (either as representatives or as seekers) if they would like.
Constellation sessions conclude with a closing meditation (guided visualization).
If you would like to witness a constellation, you are welcome to come to a constellation workshop to simply observe and witness the process. The witnesses to a constellation are an important part of the process, too! They hold the space, the container of the constellation field, wherein the healing happens. It can be powerful to have one’s healing witnessed. It can also be enormously powerful to witness the healing of another. Many observers experience personal healing on some level simply by witnessing a constellation.
Are you ready to begin a journey by participating in a constellation? See below for information about our next group session, and/or contact Michaelene to set up a private constellation.
Are you ready to begin a journey by participating in a constellation? See below for information about our next group session, and/or contact Michaelene to set up a private constellation.
ORIGINS OF CONSTELLATIONS
Roots of Family Constellations
The origins of Family Constellations are attributed to Bert Hellinger, a German pscyhotherapist and educator who has led a pretty interesting life. Through his vast and diverse life experiences, studies, and exposure to different cultures, he blended his knowledge and learnings to create Family Constellations. To understand the roots of constellations is to understand a bit about Hellinger's life.
About Bert Hellinger
Hellinger grew up in Nazi Germany, where he rejected Nazism and was thus officially classified as "an Enemy of the People." As a young boy he left his family to study philosophy and theology at a Catholic monastery. At the age of 17 he was drafted into the army, where he experienced combat, capture, and defeat as a soldier and became a prisoner of war. After escaping the POW camp he returned to the monastery to engage in the long purification process of body, mind and spirit before entering the priesthood.
As a Jesuit priest he served in South Africa, where he lived for 16 years and was significantly influenced by interracial trainings on group dynamics that valued dialogue and phenomenology (the study of structures of experience and consciousness). While in South Africa Hellinger also developed a deep appreciation for Zulu culture and spirituality. The Zulu, like many cultures, have a very different relationship to and understanding of family and ancestors than European cultures do. Hellinger learned from the Zulu that an individual’s healing is inextricably linked to family, to understanding and honoring one's ancestry.
Hellinger ended up leaving the priesthood after 25 years and went on to study psychoanalysis and psychotherapy in Germany, Austria, and the United States, followed by learning body work therapy also in the U.S. Now in his 90s, Hellinger and his second wife, Sophie, continue to share their knowledge through workshops and trainings in constellations.
Per Hellinger's website:
The origins of Family Constellations are attributed to Bert Hellinger, a German pscyhotherapist and educator who has led a pretty interesting life. Through his vast and diverse life experiences, studies, and exposure to different cultures, he blended his knowledge and learnings to create Family Constellations. To understand the roots of constellations is to understand a bit about Hellinger's life.
About Bert Hellinger
Hellinger grew up in Nazi Germany, where he rejected Nazism and was thus officially classified as "an Enemy of the People." As a young boy he left his family to study philosophy and theology at a Catholic monastery. At the age of 17 he was drafted into the army, where he experienced combat, capture, and defeat as a soldier and became a prisoner of war. After escaping the POW camp he returned to the monastery to engage in the long purification process of body, mind and spirit before entering the priesthood.
As a Jesuit priest he served in South Africa, where he lived for 16 years and was significantly influenced by interracial trainings on group dynamics that valued dialogue and phenomenology (the study of structures of experience and consciousness). While in South Africa Hellinger also developed a deep appreciation for Zulu culture and spirituality. The Zulu, like many cultures, have a very different relationship to and understanding of family and ancestors than European cultures do. Hellinger learned from the Zulu that an individual’s healing is inextricably linked to family, to understanding and honoring one's ancestry.
Hellinger ended up leaving the priesthood after 25 years and went on to study psychoanalysis and psychotherapy in Germany, Austria, and the United States, followed by learning body work therapy also in the U.S. Now in his 90s, Hellinger and his second wife, Sophie, continue to share their knowledge through workshops and trainings in constellations.
Per Hellinger's website:
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"In the gathering of powerful approaches from psychotherapy as well as other paradigms, [Hellinger] has created a uniquely compelling healing approach. He has learned specific tools from a variety of sources, but the overarching strength of his work comes from his refined skill of listening to the authority of one`s own soul. This is not a guaranteed ‵technique′, it is, rather, the only real protection we have against the seduction of false authority according to Hellinger. Seeing ‵what is′ as opposed to blindly accepting what is being said – no matter by whom – is the linchpin of this often difficult healing work for individuals, groups, communities and cultures."
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Origins of the term "Family Constellations"
"The actual use of the phrase Family Constellations to describe the process challenges the accuracy of the common understanding of the word constellation... Family Constellations began in Germany and the word used to describe it in German is “systemaufstellung.” Translated to English, it is “system installation” or “system set up” or “arrangement” (Systemaufstellung, 2012). This generic term can be applied to different systems, as in family systems (Familieaufstellung), depending upon the focus... At first, Familieaufstellung was translated to the English 'The Order of Love' and then changed to 'The Orders of Love' (Dauskardt, 2013, p. 73). Years later: 'the new term "Family Constellations" emerged and was adopted as the most popular English language term... referring to a complete process according to the insights Bert Hellinger had gained with regard to the essential systemic and phenomenological aspects of the work' (Dauskardt, 2013, p. 73)." Michaelene Ruhl, 2013, Clients’ Experiences of Family Constellations in Psychological Healing |
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additional resources
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- Constellations on Michaelene's website
- Carrie's story of her first constellation experience
- Our friends Martina & Kim in an interview on constellations, New Realities radio (9 mins)
- Michaelene's dissertation, with stories of her own journeys through constellations
Clients’ Experiences of Family Constellations in Psychological Healing - The Constellation Approach: Finding Peace through Your Family Lineage, a book by Michaelene's mentors Jamy and Peter Faust
- Faust Family Constellations the practice of Michaelene's mentors Jamy and Peter Faust
what people say about experiencing constellations
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“I feel everything that I have done that has to do with Family Constellations has been healing. There is growth to be had in all of it. It is visceral, the healing, because it really is more of an emotional or even a spiritual connection. I am receiving a healing. I am not thinking. Healing is an acknowledgment of what is and then an acceptance and then agreement. To me, that agreement to what is - rather than fighting and saying, “This is my past and I hate it” - is really saying: “This is my past, and this is my past. That is all it is.” It becomes more like a
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neutral event or an event I can learn from rather than being something that just happened to me. This helps me to move forward, be more open, and have a sense of peace that I did not have before doing constellation work.
It is interesting; I have done some personal effectiveness trainings before and the piece that was missing for me in that was the spiritual piece. I feel like Family Constellations adds that piece in a big way. It connects all of me. It is different from traditional therapy in that way. Traditional therapy, to me, is intellectual but with Family Constellations, it is all right there. I am feeling it. I am in it. I am connecting at a soul level and so it feels as if almost immediately it is part of who I am. It is by far the most powerful healing experience I have had."
~ "Ruby" in Clients’ Experiences of Family Constellations in Psychological Healing (Ruhl 2013)
It is interesting; I have done some personal effectiveness trainings before and the piece that was missing for me in that was the spiritual piece. I feel like Family Constellations adds that piece in a big way. It connects all of me. It is different from traditional therapy in that way. Traditional therapy, to me, is intellectual but with Family Constellations, it is all right there. I am feeling it. I am in it. I am connecting at a soul level and so it feels as if almost immediately it is part of who I am. It is by far the most powerful healing experience I have had."
~ "Ruby" in Clients’ Experiences of Family Constellations in Psychological Healing (Ruhl 2013)
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"To be very honest, I am very left-brained and analytical so when I first heard about Family Constellations and someone intellectually described it to me, I thought this is about the biggest mumbo jumbo that I have heard. I decided to try it anyway and I began one-on-one sessions over the telephone then I observed it through a workshop... As these experiences progressed, I thought to myself, this is not mumbo jumbo. This is actually a methodology and process. I am able to get past the mental and to the heart place that gives me insight, empowerment, and objectivity to change something and help my wounds heal and strengthen my relationships. What a powerful way to achieve healing. Healing, to me, happens through ... releasing my anger, pain, hurt, and fear through felt and spoken connection of the constellation. It gives me
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strength and empowerment –- tremendous strength and empowerment -- and a kind of objectivity to look at the situation, the event between myself and the other human being or even disease and look at my own emotion about it.
Something that I have thought about since I have begun Family Constellations is how it differs from traditional talk therapy. So Family Constellations is all about harnessing some of the critical facts of the issue that you want to resolve, of the relationship problem that you want to resolve, or the event that you want to get over. ... when I have been in regular therapy, it has been talk, talk, talk, talk, how do you feel about that? I think Family Constellations is a very different, very loving, very peaceful, very balanced and positive way for healing and personal growth. It is all positive. I think Family Constellations is the most positive vehicle I have ever seen."
~ "Trixie" in Clients’ Experiences of Family Constellations in Psychological Healing (Ruhl 2013)
Something that I have thought about since I have begun Family Constellations is how it differs from traditional talk therapy. So Family Constellations is all about harnessing some of the critical facts of the issue that you want to resolve, of the relationship problem that you want to resolve, or the event that you want to get over. ... when I have been in regular therapy, it has been talk, talk, talk, talk, how do you feel about that? I think Family Constellations is a very different, very loving, very peaceful, very balanced and positive way for healing and personal growth. It is all positive. I think Family Constellations is the most positive vehicle I have ever seen."
~ "Trixie" in Clients’ Experiences of Family Constellations in Psychological Healing (Ruhl 2013)
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“To me, Family Constellations is about finding the places within my family history and my family of origin where love has been interrupted and in that knowledge, having the opportunity to acknowledge, accept, and agree to what was and what is in a safe and sacred environment. It encompasses the gift of connecting on a level one would seem to never be able to connect to outside of the family constellation experience or with traditional psychotherapy only. It is a connection to the past, present, and even to the
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future as a way to begin to heal the family system. It is also a way to help heal the wounds of past generations, present generations, and to reduce the pain and suffering for generations to come by allowing the love, understanding, and compassion that was once hidden to be acknowledged and accepted. It is a true way to connect the mind, body and spirit. In a Freudian sense, it is a way to bring to consciousness the unconscious -– that which we are most afraid of, what we most long for, and our truest selves." ~ Michaelene Ruhl, Clients’ Experiences of Family Constellations in Psychological Healing, 2013
After Your constellation
What to expect & do after your constellation
As my mentor, Peter Faust says, "The end of a constellation is the beginning of the healing," so don't worry if your constellation didn't reach a full resolution and tie things up in a nice bow. Constellations create movement, which can create the momentum needed for healing.
A Healing through Connecting™ Constellation (HtC) supports you in receiving new insights, seeing different and new perspectives, and discovering new understandings about yourself, your experiences, and your family system. In a constellation, four levels of healing are experienced - the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual (Soul). It goes much deeper than any words. The effects on our relationships can seem effortless and profound and can give our lives new direction. It is my hope that this information will support you as your constellation healing continues.
Healing Energy...
Healing energy will be present from the decision to do a constellation, the day a constellation is done, and to several days after, even sometimes months. You have shaken up the snow globe of your energy and belief system and have tapped into your unconscious, it needs time to settle back in (at least 72 hours is recommended). Remember that the healing effects of the work unfold on their own time when we let go of the need to know and to do something. During this time of honoring yourself:
Integration...
Integration is taking what you've learned and the gifts given during constellations and weaving it into your current life and every cell of your being. This can be a challenge, especially when we aren't sure what that looks like.
The following are some suggested integration ideas:
Sharing with Others...
When you go home from the workshop it is recommended to be mindful about sharing with others your experience for at least 72 hours. Some reasons why:
Possible Behavior Shifts...
Whatever occurs in a constellation, it is recommended it not be used as a recipe for your behavior around the people represented in the constellation – follow your intuition.
A Healing through Connecting™ Constellation (HtC) supports you in receiving new insights, seeing different and new perspectives, and discovering new understandings about yourself, your experiences, and your family system. In a constellation, four levels of healing are experienced - the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual (Soul). It goes much deeper than any words. The effects on our relationships can seem effortless and profound and can give our lives new direction. It is my hope that this information will support you as your constellation healing continues.
Healing Energy...
Healing energy will be present from the decision to do a constellation, the day a constellation is done, and to several days after, even sometimes months. You have shaken up the snow globe of your energy and belief system and have tapped into your unconscious, it needs time to settle back in (at least 72 hours is recommended). Remember that the healing effects of the work unfold on their own time when we let go of the need to know and to do something. During this time of honoring yourself:
- Honor yourself for showing up and doing the work for yourself and your family Soul
- Take a bath with Epsom salts and essential oils (making sure to shower afterward)
- Light candles, turn on your favorite music, and have some tea, water, etc.
- Spend time in nature
- Be kind to yourself - no judgment or 'shoulds'
- Follow your intuition for what you need
- It takes at least 72 hours for the energy to settle
- You may experience deep emotions, questions, answers, awareness, confusion, bliss, love, a shift in thinking and perception, new understandings, peace within and outside of yourself, and some physical symptoms of release and detoxing.
Integration...
Integration is taking what you've learned and the gifts given during constellations and weaving it into your current life and every cell of your being. This can be a challenge, especially when we aren't sure what that looks like.
The following are some suggested integration ideas:
- Private integration/follow-up appointment with Michaelene
- Write in your journal to explore and express your insights, challenges, and celebrations
- Do artwork to explore and express your insights, issues, and new understandings
- Set up an ancestor table or altar in your home to acknowledge to honor them and yourself
- Display photos in your home of your ancestors
- Meditate
- Replay your constellation
- See the end of your constellation and allow it to continue if it feels right
- Call in your ancestors for help, support, and guidance and to thank them
- Set up the end of your constellation at home
- Use figurines, rocks, anything that can represent the members in your constellation
- Set it up in a sacred place in your home, a place you pass by every day
- Sit with it and see what feelings, thoughts, and movements are present
- Move the representations if called to do so
- See how you feel and what you notice afterward, go as deeply as possible
- Write down your thoughts, new awareness & “aha’s,” and feelings
- This also calls in your ancestors for help, support, and guidance if needed
- Visit the cemetery to honor and/or acknowledge your family member(s) or create an outdoor space at home for them
Sharing with Others...
When you go home from the workshop it is recommended to be mindful about sharing with others your experience for at least 72 hours. Some reasons why:
- To protect the sacredness of what was experienced
- So no outside opinions or perceptions influence your truth of the experience and its meaning to you
- Because it is difficult to explain
- People may be skeptical and will challenge it
- People like to be analytic, “in their head”
- This can disconnect you from the healing energy of the constellation and your own feelings
Possible Behavior Shifts...
Whatever occurs in a constellation, it is recommended it not be used as a recipe for your behavior around the people represented in the constellation – follow your intuition.
- Letting it work within, you may find yourself acting in ways different than your usual past patterns.
- You may find yourself reconnecting with previously distanced or estranged family members.
- You may find yourself being more assertive or more peacemaking than before.
- It is likely that you will feel a greater sense of relaxation and connection.
- You may even feel more alive. (paraphrased from http://familyconstellationshouston.com/who-we-are/).
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